


Jishogi

by SpaghettiCanActivist



Category: Naruto
Genre: Asexual Character, Gen, M/M, Physical and Mental Scars, Slow Burn Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-07-07 03:07:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15899661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaghettiCanActivist/pseuds/SpaghettiCanActivist
Summary: Love is an ever subjective term, found in these instances as close but undisturbed, a meeting of minds not of bodies.In which Naruto is asexual and life goes on.





	1. Furigoma

Life, was like shogi, you had your key pieces, kanji symbols grooved black into wood chips, life experiences carved into a person’s soul. This made the people who were mere fuhyo, the simplistic lives which passed unremarkably in an near beautiful naivety, it made the ginsho who became naringin, men and women who defied position and rose above what they were confined to. And then there was someone like Naruto, the osho, someone who had started out with not even being a piece but in the end, becoming someone greater than Shikamaru had ever seen before. The thing about shogi, though, much like life, was that it was terribly unpredictable. It stole people away, pieces captured waiting in hand till they could be dropped back onto the battlefield. It could end in glorious victory, being able to claim tsumi, other times it ended with defeat, an admittance of makemashita, of loss. More often than not though, life, was an endless draw, pieces taken and dropped, replaced, promoted and changed, but always a draw, always jishogi.

 

Shikamaru glanced over the stack of papers he had in hand. The rokudaime was seated at the desk, a little orange book in hand. Shikamaru sweatdropped, especially as he took in the flushed cheeks of the man and the giggling snort that sounded a moment later. Shikamaru shook his head in disgust and dumped the papers on the desk. 

Kakashi looked up and eye smiled. 

“Thank you, Shikamaru-san,” he said with glee, his book still raised.

Shikamaru didn’t deign to answer and instead left the office. Let the man live out his private fantasies in a book, karma insured that there was a never ending supply of paperwork. 

Slowly strolling down the hall, his mind turned over thoughts. Things had been, different. It was strange to be coming out of the second year since the end of the fourth shinobi war. Everyone had changed. During the war, life had seemed like it would end in an instant, not even enough time to gasp a goodbye to the people precious to you, everything was in the moment and death had been around the corner. Two years away, and Shikamaru still found it hard not to feel like the peaceful flow of life around him would come to an abrupt halt from the wrong end of a kunai.

He frowned at the down turn of his mood and shook his head, pausing to stare out the hallway window to the clouds peppering the sky overhead. It was beautiful today, bright sunshine pouring down over the vast overhead of painted blue, stark and sublime. It wasn’t time for melancholy thoughts. Shikamaru turned his head at the sound of feet against the floor, thudding footsteps that were familiar. He let a small smile grace his lips, but it vanished as Naruto appeared, face grim and occupied. 

The blonde man spotted him and his pace stumbled, a bright grin spreading across his face.

“Shikamaru!” 

Even now, Naruto’s ability for managing to hit the threshold of decibels on the human ear hadn’t failed. It seemed more of a strange habit, as Shikamaru had gone on enough missions with him to know that the man more than excelled in every shinobi skill. It was possible Naruto just enjoyed torturing Shikamaru.

“Naruto,” he said, bored drawl drawing the name out as he shifted to face him, hands tucked in his pockets.

“What are you doing here?” Naruto asked, arm reaching up to awkwardly rub the back of his head.

Shikamaru let out a sigh, refraining from insulting the hero of Konoha.

“I kind of work here, Naruto,” Shikamaru said, failing to keep the exasperation from his face.

Naruto let out an awkward chuckle, it faded though and his face underwent a change. Naruto turned his gaze to the same window Shikamaru had been looking out of. He looked pensive, sad; eyes faraway.

“It’s so beautiful, yet I forget sometimes,” Naruto sighed, head tilting, and voice finishing in a whisper “that we’re here.”

Shikamaru didn’t say anything, he could relate though. Too often his mind was plagued by remembering the war. There was something else though on Naruto’s face, something deeper troubling him.

“What’s wrong?” Shikamaru wasn’t one to meddle, but he felt compelled here to do so.

Naruto’s face scrunched up, reminiscent of how he looked when he was twelve.

“Nothing,” he paused, obviously intending on speaking more. Shikamaru waited, turning his body to show that he was willing to listen.

“Just, have you ever, disappointed someone, someone that you love?”

Shikamaru frowned, not quite understanding.

“Done something or been a way that they don’t understand, that they don’t understand to the point of believing that you’re lying to them?”

Shikamaru’s frown grew. Was Naruto talking about Hinata? Iruka? Naruto was looking at him with a small hope, as if Shikamaru had the answer. When he didn’t answer the blonde smiled broadly, letting out a laugh.

“Forget it, that sounds really weird anyway, I don’t know what I’m talking about, I’ll see you around, Shikamaru!”

Naruto walked away and Shikamaru couldn’t help but mutter the blonde’s name under his breath, worry for his friend filling him.

 

Shikamaru had just gotten off, Temari was visiting from Suna on a rather long term mission as an ambassador of the sand. He had been seeing her for some time now, ever since the war’s end. Things though hadn’t been going so well lately. Hopefully the date he had planned with her would help to smooth that out. 

There she was, lovely tan legs stretching up to be covered by that wonderfully skimpish skirt. She was, as always, a sight to see. It was her eyes that always took him in though, sharp, intelligent and unfortunately, at the moment, recriminatory. He winced, heading over to her.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve invited a few friends,” Temari’s tone was cold, the unspoken ‘you’re late’ being heard.

Shikamaru gave another wince and then noticed for the first time the kunoichi around Temari. Hinata, Sakura, Tenten and Ino were there. There were all casting him dirty looks. He sweat dropped, apparently he’d been late enough to give them time to talk. Females together, talking, spelled doom.

“Let’s head inside now, we’ve wasted enough time as it is. I’m hungry.” Temari turned on her heel and headed inside the restaurant.

The girls followed alongside her while Shikamaru trailed behind, scorned lover that he was. They seated themselves around the booth, Shikamaru being seated on the outside next to Temari, Tenten was on the other side of Temari and the other three girls were across from them. The girls ordered while Shikamaru tried not to be stifled under the environment of being surrounded by possibly angry kunoichi.

As he expected, they all began talking.

“So, Sakura, have you been seeing anyone?”

All the girls looked expectantly to Sakura at Ino’s question. Sakura shook her head.

“No, I’m still trying to get in another class of recruits for the hospital, even now we’re still not at the same numbers as we were.”

“You’re going to work yourself to death!” Temari declared, giving Sakura a sympathetic smile.

“Yeah, you don’t want to end up alone, do you? Can’t spend your whole life working on a career.”

Sakura shrugged at Ino’s statement.

“Don’t you want children?” Tenten queried. 

“Maybe, someday, but enough about me, how are things between you and Naruto?” Sakura looked to Hinata. 

The girl blushed, but a sad look came onto her face which had Sakura frowning.

“I-I don’t know, it’s been kind of hard lately, I think-”

Hinata fell short, biting her lip in worry.

“Has Naruto been inattentive?” Temari asked, sending a scathing glare at Shikamaru, he shrunk under it.

“Boys sometimes are so inconsiderate,” Ino chimed in.

Hinata shook her head, staring out the window, a frown marring her delicate face.

“I-I think, I think he’s lost interest…” she trailed off and silence fell over the table. Even Shikamaru looked up in surprise.

“What do you mean?” TenTen said slowly.

“Well, I don’t think, he, well,” Hinata spoke extremely quietly and they barely caught the next words, “likes me.”

Temari’s eyes narrowed.

“You think he’s seeing someone else?”

Hinata’s face crumpled and she sort of shook her head yes and no.

“No, but, yes, I don’t know, he just, he spends time with me and he holds my hand, and he is always doing nice things, and I mean, he kisses me, but he doesn’t, you know, kiss me. Whenever I try to, well, ask him about more or-or, well, he always brushes me off.”

Confusion fell over the group and Ino spoke, trying to sort it out.

“So you think he’s gay?”

Hinata bit her lip and frowned, pondering the statement.

“No, he looks at me and well, I’ve never seen him look at a man or show any kind of, tendency?” She ended hesitantly.

Ino relaxed at that, as did Temari.

“He’s just shy, Hinata, some men are like that, scared of actually doing it,” Temari said.

Sakura looked unsure, but the explanation seemed to work for Tenten.

“Seems funny that Naruto is shyer than you Hinata, I mean not that I’ve thought about it, but with the way he’s so forward with everything, you’d assume he would be the same way with that.”

Shikamaru recalled the conversation from earlier with Naruto and he frowned. His mind sped through the facts that had presented and for the first time since the meeting he spoke up.

“Has he told you he doesn’t want sex?”

All the girls looked at him in surprise. Hinata gave a small nod. It was silent for a few moments.

“He’s just shy Hinata, give it a little bit, he probably is afraid your father will castrate him if he doesn’t propose and marry you first.”

The other girls laughed, agreeing with Sakura, but Temari sent Shikamaru a probing look. He ignored it, casually throwing an arm around her shoulders. His mind was on his friend and comrade, a man he had sworn to stand behind for the day he became Hokage, a day Shikamaru had not doubt would come. He hoped that it would resolve itself, but life was unpredictable at the least, troublesome at the worst.

“Ah! What about you and Sai? I heard he did propose!” 

Ino blushed furiously and all the girls began tittering about the subject. It honestly bored Shikamaru, so he tuned out, lazily looking between the bar of blue sky and clouds that showed through the scene of the window and the group around him. His mind wrapped itself around a particular shogi move which his father had done in their last game together, bittersweet memories sweeping up and away with the mental simulation of a game. He had his father’s style memorized, a strong defense that surprised you with sudden attacks which rendered you helpless. It always surprised him because his mother was quick and sharp, willing to sacrifice to reach the end. He would move and his father, passively looking on, would reach a firm hand out; he could recall a breeze from the Nara compound, the smell of slow cooked chankonabe, his mother’s soft hum of pleasure as she stopped for a moment in the doorway to watch them and then move on. 

Shikamaru opened his eyes and blinked languidly, taking in the restaurant and the wafting scent of sizzling pork. Life was, indeed, changed.


	2. Begin Byo Yomi

“You want to learn shogi?” Shikamaru asked in surprise.

“That’s what I just said!” Naruto exclaimed with frustration.

Shikamaru frowned. Naruto shifted his weight, leaning more heavily on one leg as he crossed his arms.

“It’s not that unbelievable,” he muttered under his breath looking cross.

Shikamaru still hadn’t answered.

“I’m not going to force you, you obviously don’t want to,” Naruto said finally, looking hurt despite trying to hide it.

Shikamaru’s brain caught up and he reached out to stop his friend before he marched off angry.

“It’s not that, I was just surprised. I’m alright with teaching you shogi.”

It was Naruto’s turn to look surprised. Honestly Shikamaru really didn’t mind, it was just that shogi was rather personal to him. The people he remembered playing it with were his father, mother and Asuma-sensei, he had even played it with the sandaime on a few occasions. It had been a comfort to him at a young age but now it held tender memories that were still sore.

A smile came onto Naruto’s face, one that was soft and genuine, it made Shikamaru smile back.

“Thanks Shikamaru,” Naruto said.

“We can meet at the Jonin wreck room later on and I can show you the basics.”

Naruto nodded and sped off. Shikamaru shook his head, wondering exactly what he’d gotten himself into.

 

“How can you do that!? It's not fair?!”

Shikamaru withheld the urge to facepalm and let a long breath out through his nose.

“It's the rules, Naruto,” he ground out for the umpteenth time.

Naruto still looked positively confused if not a little frustrated.

“But it doesn't make sense!”

Shikamaru let his lips twitch, a vein throbbing in his head. He closed his eyes and took a few more breaths to calm himself. Only Naruto could frustrate him to this level. Now though, he realized that point blank informing Naruto that they were the rules and that was that, wouldn't work. All in all this was probably Shikamaru’s fault, so many years with Naruto should've taught him that the man thought differently. The challenge now was finding a way to present the material in such a way for the blonde across from him to understand.

His mind cleared, becoming calm. This was a challenge he could enjoy. Opening his eyes he surveyed Naruto. The blonde was staring intensely at the board, brow furrowed and face playing every emotion in a loud display. A moment later and he had it.

“What does Sakura-san do?”

Naruto looked up, frustration easing and a perplexed look coming on.

“She works at the hospital, you know that.”

Shikamaru gave a small nod, picking up a piece and turning it over in his hand. Naruto watched him do so.

“She treats ninja, no?”

Naruto nodded.

“Ninja who are unavailable at the time but will recover and be capable to fight later?”

Naruto gave another nod.

“My father taught me shogi because it is like our world. The pieces are ninja, all capable of different abilities and therefore best used in different ways. Look at dropping pieces back in as ninja who have healed,”

Shikamaru paused watching the look of understanding that slowly started to dawn on his friend’s face.

“And the ninja that die, they pass on their knowledge leaving behind new ninja who can take their place. It is a continuous circle of change and refilling the ranks. It's not just a rule of shogi, it's a rule of life. Things never last forever, but they always leave something behind, they always give hope and if we are wise they are always in our hand to be used again,” he held up the shogi piece he had in his hand.

Naruto blinked and Shikamaru felt a surge of satisfaction as Naruto gave a serious nod, the confusion gone from his face and understanding replacing it.

Shikamaru smiled and continued in explaining the basic rules of shogi, mind simultaneously going over all those in his life who had left the board of the living. Asuma-sensei, all the wisdom the man had imparted, the care he had given and the love he had left. It did feel as if he was gone forever but Shikamaru knew that the man was still there, in his heart and mind, waiting to be dropped back onto the board every time his students went into the field, strengthened by his lessons. Shikamaru forgot that sometimes, he appreciated that Naruto was the one to remind him.

 

“What do you want out of this?” Temari was looking at him, arms folded but tone tired and belabored with emotion.

Shikamaru let out a sigh and felt his own chest ache. It was too soon for a question like that, too soon for him to answer.

“Look, I love you Shikamaru,” Temari said, the gaze in her eyes betraying her sentence as the truth, a hard one for her to bear.

Shikamaru’s eyes widened imperceptibly as surprise flew through him. Love? Temari felt that for him? How did he himself feel? It was strong enough for love but not the love that he could feel Temari was demanding. He could die in the field for her, protect her with his life, but not commit to what she wanted, it was too soon. It might always be too soon.

“We’re ninja, Shikamaru, do you know the life span of the average ninja? It's a miracle to see past 30. I want everything life has to offer, I want a husband, I want children, I want a home and I want to live as long as I’m alive. We can’t-” she stopped, tears in her eyes.

Shikamaru felt his own eyes watering as his mind raced to the finish of this conversation. He really did love Temari, but he couldn’t give her this, give her the life she wanted. Not yet, it was too much for him. He could barely face day to day without his mind being caught in the past and in loss. He felt weak, incapable of moving on. Temari was ready to move though, and she was going to do it, with or without him.

“We can’t keep this up, I’m going to go on and live my life. For kami’s sake-” she said with a tearful laugh that was all bitter pain.

“You’re so caught up you can’t even stop smoking.”

She folded her arms around her middle, tears coming down faster. Shikamaru moved forward, wanting to keep this from dying. He wrapped his arms around her and she let her head fall against his shoulder.

“What if I try?”

She shook her head and he could feel hot breath warming his neck along with the pricking sensation of hot tears.

“I’ll try, okay, I’ll try,” he whispered.

There was inertia, Shikamaru running his hand along her back.

“You better, because I’m not going to stick around forever.” Temari answered, throat tight.

Shikamaru nodded, promising something that deep down he knew he would never be able to give her.

 

 

Shikamaru glared at the packs lining the wall behind the counter. The civilian man working the corner store raised a brow but didn’t say anything. It was late anyhow and the store was empty, it didn’t really matter how long the shinobi took to pick what he wanted. Shikamaru’s gaze lingered on the brand Asuma always carried with him, a blue fan spreading on a white case with a capital lettered word, HOPE, under it. Asuma had always preferred the Istimewa variety. Letting out a long sigh, Shikamaru pulled yen from his pocket.

“Oi, whatcha doing in here?”

Shikamaru turned, brow raising with slight surprise. Naruto was behind him, a stack of ramen in his hands. Naruto’s eyes went from the yen to the wall of cigarettes and then to Shikamaru. His face softened and understanding flickered on it along with empathy.

“I thought you were quitting.”

Guilt coursed through Shikamaru and he shrugged. Naruto didn’t say anything more, pushing past Shikamaru and setting his ramen down on the counter. The man rang him up.

“Anything else?”

Naruto nodded his head yes, pointing to the exact pack of smokes that Shikamaru had himself been intending to buy. The man handed them over and added it to the total. Naruto payed and grabbed the plastic bag. He nodded to Shikamaru to follow him. Shikamaru was curious so he followed after.

He came abreast of Naruto and they walked in silence, making their way up the civilian path to the top of the Hokage mountain where the memorial stone was. Shikamaru felt his heart get heavy with each step.

They stopped in front of the stone. Naruto set the bag of ramen down and pulled out a cigarette passing it to Shikamaru. He grabbed one himself then looked expectantly at Shikamaru. With a feeling of annoyance at having been made out as the smoker he was, he pulled a lighter from his pocket, lighting his own cigarette before handing the lighter to Naruto. Naruto didn’t light his yet.

“You know, I come up here every year on the day to bring Jiraiya one of his novels. I read it out loud.”

Shikamaru looked in surprise at Naruto. He realized vaguely that Naruto knew that it was the anniversary of Asuma’s death. Naruto placed the pack of smokes by the memorial stone. They both stood and stared, a good kind of quiet surrounding them. After a while, Shikamaru spoke.

“You know, kids will probably get ahold of those if we leave them here.”

Naruto blinked, as if he had just realized that. He chuckled nervously, quickly swiping the cigarettes off the ground.

“Heh, I guess there’s a reason people leave flowers.”

Shikamaru let out a scoff and shook his head. Naruto finally lit up his cigarette. It was quiet for a few moments when Shikamaru heard coughing. Looking in confusion at Naruto he saw his friend with a bright red face, attempting to smoke. He began laughing as he realized what was going on. Naruto threw the cigarette on the ground, now wheezing for breath, hands on his knees. Shikamaru’s laugh grew louder and he found he couldn’t stop, hands clutching his stomach.

“You’ve never smoked before have you?” Shikamaru said between laughs.

Naruto turned red with embarrassment and nodded his head. Shikamaru laughed even more and Naruto joined in. They stood there, moonlight overhead, the graves seeming to laugh with them.


	3. Keima Opens

“Temari dumped you?”

Shikamaru gave a weary nod and took a long drag on his cigarette. He’d gone through nearly an entire pack since Temari had told him this morning, the only thing which indicated that he was freaking out. Choji shook his head and went back to wiping down the counter. He was doing some part time work at his clan’s restaurant. He’d been injured on a mission and the Hokage had forced him on a month long sabbatical. Choji was spending it working in the restaurant and hanging out with Karui.

“You doing okay?” Choji said, sitting down at the booth with an apron on and a towel in hand.

Shikamaru shrugged. No, he wasn’t fine, he was freaking out, it felt like his heart had been ripped out and shredded. It nearly hurt as bad as the first Memorial celebration given after the war.

“I’m fine,” he drawled, there was no way he was going to tell Choji about it.

Choji didn’t press further but his expression showed how little he believed his friend.

“You know, you’re not the only one having girl trouble,” he began conversationally.

Shikamaru raised a brow, crushing out his cigarette and pulling another one out. He ignored the look Choji shot his way.

“Yeah, I heard Naruto and Hinata are taking a break. You should’ve seen Naruto, he looked devastated. I didn’t think Hinata would be the one doing the dumping in that relationship.”

Shikamaru felt worry niggle at him. Choji, despite his light tone, also had a small frown of worry marring his face.

“Sounds troublesome,” Shikamaru mumbled, gaze growing distant.

Choji shook his head and opened his mouth to say more when one of his relatives shouted to him. Choji stood up, shouting back.

“Guess I gotta go, tough luck with Temari. I’m sure you can make up with her somehow.”

Choji jogged to the other side of the restaurant, talking once again with his cousin in rapid conversation normal to a restaurant. Shikamaru watched him go before turning his gaze to the pack of cigarettes in front of him. The word on the packet, HOPE, seemed to stand out to him in a play of situational irony. Hope? What hope did he have? Temari was going back to Suna and he was likely going to be castrated and then disemboweled by the Kazekage, and that would just be a warm up. 

Her brother's fearsome ire aside, the fact of the matter was that Temari was done. There would be no reconcilement and that was what crushed Shikamaru the most, that he had had no chance from the beginning.

Standing up, he tucked the pack in his breast pocket and headed out of the restaurant, waving at Choji as the man poured a drink for some patrons. The man gave a wave back. Shikamaru headed out into the street feeling surly and miserable.

He was surprised when he nearly ran into somebody.

“Naruto?”

The man grinned, a horrible weak thing which was painful to look at.

“Hey Shikamaru! Sorry, I didn’t really see you there!”

There was a bouquet of flowers in Naruto’s hand, a box of chocolates, along with an adorable teddy bear panda that was a little too big for its own good. Shikamaru eyed the items and then looked to Naruto.

“You know, when a girl asks for space, she usually means it,” Shikamaru said, that was his experience at least with Temari.

Naruto seemed to visibly crumple and the smile disappeared.

“Yeah,” he said weakly. “You’re probably right.”

“Why don’t you give her some time, then ply her with gifts. Meanwhile, we can play a shogi game,” Shikamaru surprised himself with the offer, but honestly he felt awful as well and it would be a good distraction.

Naruto bumbled, flustered, nearly saying no. Shikamaru just started walking, not looking back to see if Naruto was following. He was kind of scared the man wouldn’t. It paid off as Naruto came jogging over. Shikamaru snagged the box of chocolates and opened it. Naruto let out a gasp and shriek.

“Oh stuff if Hero of Konoha, it’s not like you’re gonna give it to her,” Shikamaru grumbled, eating one of the chocolates.

Naruto walked alongside him. Shikamaru could feel the nervous energy coming of the ninja but didn’t say anything about it.

“Thank you.”

Shikamaru side glanced at the quiet and sincere voice. Naruto’s blue eyes were wide.

“It’s just a game of shogi, besides, I’m doing it because I’m bored,” Shikamaru contended.

“Yeah, whatever you say,” Naruto replied in a happy voice.

The walk was slow and leisurely, and an enjoyable thing in and of itself. The children loved Naruto, and they flocked on the streets, dancing up to the ninja and crying out for attention and demonstrations. Naruto passed out the flowers he’d purchased and one lucky little boy got the panda. Shikamaru watched with lazy pleasure as Naruto’s smile grew at the children’s delighted laughter. 

Finally they made it past the commoner's street and were headed toward the Nara compound. They were welcomed at the gateway by the servant and the two made their way into a room for recreation and visitors.

A shogi board, carved from cherry wood and made specifically for Shikamaru as a gift from his father, was set on a low table set aside for this particular pastime. Shikamaru took a seat and asked for tea, watching Naruto awkwardly seat himself at the table and begin fervently arranging the board pieces.

Naruto's movements were far from graceful, however, they lacked his usual brilliant enthusiasm. Naruto moved like he was at the end of a trying battle, struggling to continue on and forcing himself forward with a sick fervor of desperation.

Shikamaru let his mind slip into the familiar position of critical analysis. Naruto had been dumped, by Hinata and obviously wasn't willing to give up on the relationship. He was curious as to why. He refrained from speaking at that moment though.

The tea arrived just as Naruto finished setting up the board and a game commenced. It was a boring game, Naruto, who had been rapidly improving, was greatly regressed in this game. He made many mistakes, his moves felt stale and amateur and soon Shikamaru was paying more attention to Naruto than he was to the board. Naruto was oblivious, intense gaze lowered to the board, hands clenched on his knees as he waited to move and seemingly unaware of Shikamaru’s presence.

Made uncomfortable by the intensity of Naruto, the langour of the game and his own residual emotions from his break with Temari, Shikamaru forewent tact.

“So, what did you do anyway?” Shikamaru asked casually.

Naruto stiffened, hand frozen from where it was about to place a piece. His blue eyes did not raise from the board.

“She thinks I'm cheating on her,” Naruto said in a harsh whisper.

Shikamaru blinked in surprise. Naruto was many things, but loyalty was his best quality and in some opinions his greatest hubris. The conversation of now several months ago was recalled and Shikamaru felt ashamed. He could've been kinder.

“Hinata isn't a jealous woman, what happened?” Shikamaru said softly.

“I wouldn't!” Naruto loudly proclaimed, looking up at Shikamaru with blazing indignation.

Shikamaru was silent. He cocked his head thoughtfully before turning his gaze to the board and moving a piece. He stayed calm.

“A lack of sexual desire isn’t anything to be ashamed of,” Shikamaru said quietly.

Naruto’s aggression wavered, his panting breaths and offensive position where he was standing relaxing somewhat.

“What?” He hoarsely asked.

Shikamaru looked up at Naruto, eyes sharp. He wasn’t going to bullshit his friend.

“You don’t want to have sex,” Shikamaru stated simply. “And there’s nothing wrong with that.”

Naruto crumpled, eyes going to the floor and his shoulders slumping.

“But, Hinata, she thinks-” Naruto broke off with a pained catch of breath.

Shikamaru waited.

“I can’t love her the way she wants me to,” Naruto finished, sitting on the floor and setting his head in his hands.

Shikamaru averted his eyes then, because he was in the same boat for different reasons and it hurt. The minutes dragged by, long and full of pained thoughts. 

Finally Shikamaru moved, placing a piece on the board, for once his move not thought out or pre-meditated.

“It’s your turn,” he said softly.

Naruto looked up, tear tracks stained on his face, and a feeble strength built. Without saying anything, he turned his eyes to the board and started to plan his next move.

 

Shikamaru invited Naruto to stay for dinner, but his friend refused. Shikamaru walked him out and they parted with no words. Shikamaru retired back to his house, walking the grounds. He made his way into the garden and lost himself to watching the ume trees.

“You look just like your father.”

Shikamaru spun around in surprise. He hadn’t heard his mother approaching. She was dressed in a simple kimono and had a basket on her arm that was filled with cooking herbs.

Shikamaru ducked his head, feeling a rush of pride and sorrow.

“And just as silent,” Yoshino added.

Yoshino had become much softer and subdued after Shikaku had died. Sometimes, Shikamaru missed the pan wielding mother he’d grown up with.

Yoshino walked closer and pressed a hand against her son’s forearm. The two began to walk together. Shikamaru turned his eyes to the black pines growing along the path.

“I heard about Temari,” Yoshino said. “I’m sorry.”

Shikamaru’s face twisted in a wistful frown.

“I’m sorry too.”


End file.
